Starting… started

I’ve started 2 new projects in the past few months!

One, I have already mentioned before is a fashion blog!
Fashion Maki is over here at: fashionmaki.wordpress.com 

The other is a store selling stuff I’ve made and any of other cute items I come across!
Just made and posted some items today!
Find my creations at http://rikos_emporium.storenvy.com/

I also just came back from Australia with my friend Kelda, hope to write about it soon. 
I quite miss blogging :P 

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Dare to dream

This end February marks the end of my working life in Sozo, a company I joined for almost 2 years. I had a lot of fun working in Sozo, I met a lot of people and could exercise some of my selfish wants when planning for events.

However, I knew I would never stay for long. There was no future for me and I could not see myself working as a sales person, trying to sell advertising space of the new media portal that I had little faith in. But I was comfortable, I love most of my colleagues and I loved Japanese pop culture.

Sometimes coming into the office didn’t feel like “work” at all. It was like we all got together and worked on a fun project. These naive thoughts were spun obviously from the lack of ever being in present in finance meetings. No doubt, the events we organised were large and quite intimidating but it did not really cross my mind. To me, it was like a school project, it was fun and entertaining and it didn’t really bothered me as much as working in my previous agency. Maybe because in my previous agency, doing things had the extra pressure of meeting my client’s expectations. The events we ran were our own, we made our expectations.

I was really too comfortable and I had worries of my future life. I tried applying for other jobs at that time, hitching one 2 weeks before AFA SG 2013, but the job sounded like a bore. It had good benefits but it would require me to tone down on my dressing, my make-up, my style… and dress like a prim and proper “office working lady”. After much consideration, I turned the offer down. I was also stuck in a quarter-life crisis. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life.

When I was in polytechnic, being in a diploma of mass communications, all I wanted to do was be in advertising, because the money was good, although it would take much effort and many years to obtain that earning power. I was merely following the instructions of my mother.

Fashion was tucked away back in my mind. I didn’t think I was good enough, I couldn’t sew in a straight line, and it didn’t seem like a “promising” career. It was one of those choices, where you KNOW everyone around you was going to be shaking their heads at your education choices.

I regret that now. Having not followed my desire and my passion.

So at the ripe age of 24, with a miraculous blessing from my mother (of all people!), I decided to take some fashion classes. One year was all that my mother would care to spare me. After that, I needed to work my butt off.

I am currently searching for the right academy, should I do a very specific and concise 3month course at an academy I’ve never heard of? Or do a full 1 year diploma at MDIS?

I am scared and I am anxious, but at least I have a dream or a goal. I want to start something of my own. It could be something as “unheard” of as a doll clothing line, or something “uncommon” of in Singapore; my own ready-to-wear line.

I decided to also start on fashion journalism and have gotten some help from my close friends. I want to showcase my love for Japanese street fashion and somehow discover how younger Singaporeans are dressing more daringly by doing a series of street snaps. It is pretty bare now, but you can find my new fashion blog here at: http://fashionmaki.wordpress.com 

I think I still lack the courage to fully plunge into this new life path, but I am thankful to a handful of supporting friends who have encouraged me and inspired me to live life to it’s fullest, because like I’ve watched in this TED video, “So, what are you doing with this one, wild, precious life of yours?”

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insufficient

I was watching “Stuck in Love” the other day, I would not recommend it unless you are like totally emotional (like on your period) and a hopeless sob like me. I quite liked it cause I related to some of the issues, hating your mum, wanting to be a writer… and also…. how I have not experienced life enough.

Some people look at me with my full make-up on and my japanese-styled clothes and go, “Oh, you must be a party girl”, “Total wild child here”, “How many boys have you snogged?”… And the truth is .. I’m just a goodie-two-shoes nerd who just happened to like some … “goth”? “dark”? things. I’ve been to a club twice, I’m sadly allergic to alcohol and smoke makes me cough.

I grew up in life never being in detention more than once (unless the whole class was ordered to by the teacher, so that doesn’t count) and that one time was probably because I forgot to bring my textbook to school.

When I was in primary school, we had a demerit point system where if you misbehave, you will gain 1 demerit point. Once you “collected” a grand total of 5 points, you will be in a lot of trouble. What trouble that is, I don’t really know. I never had a demerit point throughout my school years. I was always afraid of being bad.

Being “bad” was such a taboo thing, since it was drilled into my brain (courtesy of my primary school teachers) that you will suffer dire consequences. I think back now and the main reason why I strived so bloody hard to being “good” was because I wanted to please my parents so desperately.

Parents who viewed me as the black sheep of the family, who never wanted a girl, who never expected a second child. I was a sad accidental baby they had, unlike the golden child of the family: my elder brother. Who was the perfect child, scoring good grades and never getting into trouble. I had to strive to be better than him, or even on the same level as him just to get my parents’ approval.

I think back now and feel sorry about my childhood because I wasn’t daring enough. I was the sort of wallflower introvert and I hung out with people that was slightly… quieter. I was happy and in my comfort zone, I didn’t bother to go out of my way to make other friends. I was happy with the company I had.

Sometimes I feel embarrassed to admit that I’m not the ohsodaring person people think I am. It was awkward for me, talking to friends younger than me and who looked up to me as an elder sister, when they were talking about their bedroom activities because I had none to share, nothing to advise.

I think back about the choices I’ve made, the paths I took and wonder if it’s worth it. Is it worth it to be be “good” all the time? Miss primp and proper? Just to get a slight nod from my parents?

In 2014, I hope that I can find the courage to be more daring and adventurous because it is certain to me now, that I would never live up to my parents’ expectations of me, and any other effort on my part is such a waste of time. Waste of my life. I want to live a life that when I’m old and wrinkly, I can look back and feel appeased that I have stories to tell and experiences to share.

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How oddly comforting

As I sit here and type this, I’m in the midst of a (already) 2-hour skype conversation with my best friend, alone in my room on a Saturday afternoon.

There’s not much a of a conversation really. The only sounds I make are the tic-tats of my keyboard and clearing my throat once in a while as I surf the net. And my best friend only says, “Oh shit ! Oh shit” from time to time, as she plays Left4Dead on her laptop. On and off, I can hear the distant sounds of her cousin fussing around in the kitchen.

As weird as it may sound, it is strangely comforting to be connected to someone (whilst wanting to be anti-social, #isthatweird). I caught a bad cold a few days past and am very reluctant to leave the house. Not because I would be spreading germs to innocent people, but the thought of not having enough tissue papers to curb my dripping nose is daunting.

While I do want to be a couch-potato; watch TV and snack on cookies all day, my taste buds have gone wonky and eating cookies feel nothing more than chewing on crunchy air. There is no taste and definitely no joy in my treasured treats. As such, I have holed myself up in the comforts of my room, hugging a soft toy, surfing buzzfeed and listening to my bestie curse over our call.

I am bored, hungry and upset but at least I feel somewhat “connected” to someone in my hour of gloom. Thank you glorious technology. For if without, I would be probably on the floor, scratching out carvings on my wooden floor.

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Write again

I want to start writing again. Maybe it helps me mentally, if I pen down all my thoughts. So I don’t worry too much.

I hope to start again soon! Even if it’s a slow take-off, I will get there eventually (:

“I write to empty my mind and to fill my heart.” – Paulo Coelho

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AFAID BACKTRACK!(ノ゚▽゚)ノ☆彡ワーイ♪

Finally backtrack to AFAID !

What can I say but.. wow! Haha.
AFAID experience prepared me for what was to come for AFASG’12!

It was chaotic and scary! Haha.
But I forged stronger bonds with many people!

This time, it was my responsibility to take care of the cosplay celebrity guests as well as some of the exhibitors.

We invited popular cosplayer Akatsuki Tsukasa!
She was admittedly, not my 1st choice, but I could not contact Mon Shie (.__.);;
BUT! Tsukasa was a surprise! I’m so happy it all worked out!

There were many embarrassing moments I will not say, but thank you for putting up with me, Ah Si!
We became friends since, together with Judy!
Also became friends with their care-taker, Alvin!
He’s amazing and always watching out for our health haha!

With the pretty Ah Si!

With Judy Jie~

Team Tsukasa!!!

I also got closer to Hajime-san, famous Japanese photographer! Haha!
He is hilarious! He gave me lots of gifts, keep squishing my cheeks and SUDDENLY did Japanese stretching exercises with me haha!

 

Also got closer to Mika-boo, whom we shared a room with!

I was worried for her non-stop (T_T)

Another person I got closer to was Kaname-san haha.
We finally talked haha!
I had to rescue him from fans and get him to his schedules on time!

He also crashed one of our colleague’s hotel room on the last night to eat all our left-over food haha!
4 of us were having a pity-party! haha!

We were so out of it, we bursted into song while watching MTV while Kaname looked at us like (o_O)? .
Kaname kept going “piKAAAchu!” on the second day too haha.

He is super good looking as Saruhiko!
I told him I wanted to cosplay characters from K too, and he suggested I go Kuroh~
Well, it’s on my list as well hah!

All the handsome butlers:

I gained another dongsaeng, the very good looking, Jino! (Top left) Haha!

All the pretty maids:

=3=

Missing Tora though (.__.) I forgot to colleage her pic aigo…
I also got closer to other colleagues as well! It was a good trip that I made many wonderful memories from!
I had the most fun there really! (>A<)

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dorky glasses with one spo!

I never liked overly round glasses, but my recent trip to Japan and One spo changed my mind when the whole store was filled with shop assistants in cute dorky glasses! (*__*) So much cute!

12

Taken from one spo blog~ !

I remembered them being quite pricey .. and I know Singapore would have cheaper ones, so I quickly went to Bugis street to get my own XD

Tada!

Some outfit coordinates :

^ WC top, forever 21 shorts and tattoo stockings (random from Japan)

^ listen flavour top, nekomimi ears, leopard stockings from japan and black shorts from ONLY

 

 

 

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